Alfred: WHY.
Whenever there’s a freaking magic asshole involved
I always end up half naked or whatever—-

((Al ,compared to ‘murica, have a darker shade of blonde))

((Al ,compared to ‘murica, have a darker shade of blonde))

Artie: You look like those tanned surfers on tv shows!
Are you sure you wanna dye your hair? You still look hot to me~

Alfred: …Are you frigging serious.
Just shut up and dye my hair already.

Artie: I’m baaack~

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Alfred: Monobear? Oh you mean this bear!
I don’t know what are you talking about, but he wanted us to wear matching shirts or whatever…
I like this bear is cute— I-I MEAN—*PUFF*

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Alfred: OF COURSE.
Fucking.Magic.Anons.
How could I forget these little shits—

Alfred: Of course I know! We live…t-together—
I just don’t wanna say it, gotta problem with that?!

AND WHAT THE HELL— He JUST went out like 5 minutes ago!!
HOW am I suppose to miss him???

N-Not that I would miss him anywayasjdfkdf—
dammit don’t make me say weird things!!!

Alfred: Besides blonde doesn’t even match my eyes or my skin color—